I Think My Child Might Be Autistic. What Should I Do?

Something has been sitting with you for a while now.

Maybe it started with a comment from a teacher. Maybe it was a comparison to a cousin or a friend's child. Maybe it's just a feeling — something quiet and persistent — that your child experiences the world a little differently than their peers.

You might have turned to Google already. You might have scrolled through checklists at midnight, reading symptom lists and trying to figure out if what you're seeing "counts." And now you're somewhere between wanting answers and being afraid of what those answers might mean.

If that sounds familiar, I want you to know two things. First, you're not overreacting. Second, noticing something different about your child isn't the beginning of a crisis. It's the beginning of understanding — and understanding is always a good thing.

As a licensed clinical psychologist and board-certified behavior analyst who specializes in autism evaluations, I work with families in exactly this moment every single week. Here's what I want you to know.

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. 

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.

What Autism Actually Looks Like in Children

One of the biggest misconceptions about autism is that it looks one specific way. Many parents picture a child who doesn't speak, doesn't make eye contact, and lines up toys in perfectly straight rows. And while that can be part of the picture for some children, autism is a spectrum — and it shows up differently in every person.

Some autistic children are highly verbal. Some are social and affectionate. Some do well in school. Some have intense, passionate interests that light them up in ways that are beautiful to watch. Autism doesn't always look like what you've seen in movies or read about in outdated textbooks.

That said, there are patterns worth paying attention to. These aren't checklists to diagnose your child at home — they're signals that suggest a comprehensive evaluation might be a worthwhile next step.

Social Communication Differences

Your child might have difficulty with back-and-forth conversation, even if they have a strong vocabulary. They might not pick up on social cues like facial expressions, tone of voice, or body language. They might prefer to talk at length about their interests without noticing whether the other person is engaged. They might struggle with the unwritten social rules that other kids seem to absorb automatically — things like taking turns, reading the room, or understanding sarcasm.

Differences in Play and Imagination

You might notice that your child plays differently from their peers. They might prefer to sort, organize, or categorize rather than engage in pretend play. They might play alongside other children rather than with them. They might repeat scenes from shows or scripts from books rather than generating spontaneous imaginative play. Or they might have a rich inner imaginative world that they don't share easily with others.

Repetitive Behaviors or Intense Interests

Many autistic children engage in repetitive movements — hand flapping, spinning, rocking, or pacing — especially when they're excited, anxious, or overwhelmed. They might develop deep, focused interests in specific topics that go far beyond what's typical for their age. They might have strong preferences for routines and become distressed when things change unexpectedly.

Sensory Sensitivities

Your child might be unusually sensitive to sounds, textures, lights, or smells. They might refuse certain foods based on texture, cover their ears in noisy environments, avoid certain clothing fabrics, or become overwhelmed in busy, stimulating spaces like grocery stores or birthday parties. On the other end, some children seek out sensory input — spinning, crashing into things, chewing on objects, or needing deep pressure to feel calm.

Emotional Regulation Challenges

Meltdowns that seem disproportionate to the situation. Difficulty transitioning between activities. Intense emotional responses to things that other children seem to handle with relative ease. These aren't tantrums — they're signs that a child's nervous system is working harder than it should have to.

What These Signs Don't Mean

I want to be clear about something. Noticing these patterns doesn't mean something is "wrong" with your child. Autism is not a disease. It's not a tragedy. It's a neurological difference — a different way of processing information, experiencing sensation, and navigating social connection.

Many autistic people live rich, full, deeply meaningful lives. Many describe their autism as a fundamental part of who they are — not something they'd want removed even if they could. The goal of identifying autism isn't to fix your child. It's to understand them — so you can support them in the way they actually need, rather than the way you've been told they should need.

When Should You Seek an Evaluation?

There's no perfect age or perfect moment. But here's my general guidance.

Under Age Three

If your child is under three and you're noticing social communication differences, limited eye contact, delayed speech, or repetitive behaviors, talk to your pediatrician about a developmental screening. Early identification can open the door to early intervention services, which research consistently shows make a meaningful difference.

School-Aged Children

If your child is school-aged and struggling socially, academically, or emotionally in ways that feel out of proportion to the situation, an evaluation can provide clarity. This is especially true if teachers are raising concerns, if your child is being described as "quirky" or "difficult" or "just shy," or if they seem to be working much harder than their peers to get through the day.

Teenagers

If your child is a teenager and you're seeing increasing anxiety, social withdrawal, emotional intensity, or identity struggles, it's not too late. Many autistic teens — especially girls and gender-diverse youth — are identified later because their presentation doesn't match the stereotypical picture. A comprehensive evaluation can explain years of feeling different and provide a path forward.

You Don't Need Permission

Here's something important: you don't need your pediatrician's permission to seek an evaluation. If your gut is telling you something, that matters. Parents know their children. I've lost count of the number of families who've told me, "I knew something was different years ago, but everyone told me to wait."

You don't have to wait.

What Happens During an Autism Evaluation?

If you've never been through the process, it can feel intimidating. Here's what it typically looks like in my practice.

Clinical Interview

We start by talking. I want to hear your story — your child's developmental history, what you're seeing at home and at school, what concerns brought you here, and what questions you want answered. This conversation usually takes about 60 to 90 minutes, and it's one of the most important parts of the entire process.

Standardized Testing

I select a tailored battery of evidence-based assessment tools based on your child's age, presentation, and the specific questions we're trying to answer. This isn't a one-size-fits-all test battery. It might include measures of cognitive ability, language, executive functioning, social cognition, adaptive behavior, and emotional functioning — along with autism-specific instruments.

Behavioral Observation

I observe your child during testing and, when possible, in less structured interactions. How they engage with me, how they respond to transitions, how they regulate their emotions, and how they communicate — all of this informs the diagnostic picture.

Feedback and Report

After testing is complete, I prepare a detailed written report with clear diagnostic impressions and specific, practical recommendations. Then we sit down together for a feedback session where I walk you through the results, answer your questions, and help you understand what it all means for your child's daily life.

The entire process typically takes two to four weeks from start to finish.

How to Choose the Right Evaluator

Not all evaluations are created equal. Here's what to look for when choosing someone to evaluate your child.

Specialization Matters

You want someone who evaluates autism regularly — not someone who does it occasionally as part of a broader general practice. Ask how many autism evaluations they've conducted. Ask about their training.

A Comprehensive Approach

A thorough autism evaluation should take multiple sessions and include standardized instruments, clinical interview, and behavioral observation. If someone is offering a diagnosis based on a single brief appointment, that should raise a red flag.

Neurodiversity-Affirming Values

The person evaluating your child should view autism as a difference, not a deficiency. They should be focused on understanding your child's profile — strengths and challenges — not just producing a label. The language they use and the way they talk about autism matters.

Practical Recommendations

A good evaluation doesn't just tell you what your child has. It tells you what to do about it. Look for an evaluator who provides specific, individualized recommendations — not generic suggestions pulled from a template.

What If It's Not Autism?

That's a valid and valuable outcome too. A comprehensive evaluation isn't just about confirming or ruling out autism. It's about understanding your child's full neuropsychological profile. If autism isn't the answer, the evaluation will still tell you what is going on — whether that's ADHD, anxiety, a learning difference, sensory processing challenges, giftedness, or something else entirely.

The point is clarity. And clarity is never wasted.

Taking the First Step

If you've read this far, you're already doing the right thing. You're paying attention. You're asking questions. You're advocating for your child.

The next step is simple: reach out. A 15-minute phone consultation is often enough to talk through what you're seeing and determine whether an evaluation makes sense. You don't need a referral. You don't need to have everything figured out. You just need to start the conversation.

If you've already received a diagnosis and are wondering what comes next, I've written a guide to navigating life after an autism diagnosis that walks you through it step by step.

Your child's brain isn't broken. It might just work differently. And understanding how it works is the single most powerful thing you can do for them.

Dr. Lindsay Campbell is a licensed clinical psychologist (PSY35915) and board-certified behavior analyst (1-19-35746) specializing in comprehensive autism and ADHD evaluations in Orange County, California. She evaluates children as young as 18 months through adulthood, offering in-person evaluations in Orange County and telehealth services statewide. To schedule a free 15-minute consultation, call (562) 794-3412.